Life

Life is just a memory, Life is such a history,

Whatever you want from it, life is just a mystery,

Design the faces in arbitrary, blur the spirit in armoury,

We move on abruptly, without expressing solidarity,

Minutes before the sunrise again it shows the reality,

It loops the time in its brutality and leave you with the curiosity,

Everyday is just the mortality, nothing but the pain and agony,

I asked you what do you want from the broken stroke of serenity,

Nothing left in this world, there is none cheerful serendipity,

Listening to the silence, heard no vibe of sanity,

Voices in my head, becoming new sound of virtuality,

Vision through my eyes is not more than a fictional symphony,

Then why do we live, life always tell the same story,

Even though the storms you survived, they entomb you under six feet dark and gloomy,

Broken souls have a different virtue of gravity,

Life doesn’t know this, its stubborn and after materialistic glory,

New endings of a chapter started, with tacit agreement of haunting,

Crowling towards the time, where you waiting impatiently frowning,

Desires and wishes are crowning from the heart a volcano erupting,

Seductive winds blowing , drawing attention towards the rampage slowly,

Prophecy is not over dear, it comes in a thousand waves bursting,

Can’t be over with life either, it shows its charm in here and after whether you close your eyes or loose mind completely!

AM.

FOX

I was walking on the streets, in the middle of night,

In my mind, i was hoping can i live one last time,

Through the woods, from the hood, i run away from all lies,

I had in me but the demons stalk me around,

Cz i’m out in a doubt, some evil caught me in rocks,

Cz i’m a fox, I can’t even clever him out,

I am bound in a memory of sorrow, deep down,

So i hound my demon back from all the black clouds,

In that bleak route where i seek my revenge right,

Through dark sight, red blight eyes in the inevitable dark night,

Cz I’m alone in this war, nobody help me out,

So i follow my instincts, he didn’t even figure me out,

Life is a game of fame, these people only materialistic now,

The days are repetition but the fight is on the reputation ground,

It’s not a distress call, the ambiguity is for real now,

Forgive me for my sins, I’m not, I’m a hell bound,

Waking up everyday, I did serve my time in this fake lounge 🌎

I’m done with this world, come demon take my soul with you already now!
AM

Dancing in the Moonlight

May be I don’t know, maybe I get old,

Decisions were made when we stop to draw,

Life is like a pieces of broken tear of hope,

Sometimes you full of joy, sometimes you get so low,

Nothing really matters when the bud started to grow,

The wind tries him to blow, the sun tries him to glow,

He faces every season no matter how dark and so cold,

He fears the pain so hoe, sometimes he looks with Moe,

The feelings were so real, he waited the rain to fall,

He looked him in the tear, he smiled with falling drop,

He tries to get some cheer in the bleakly night of wrong,

The water gets so high, the mud started to slide,

He looked in every story to save him from that pine,

He grooming like a dime, inside of lonely mind,

The heart started to blind in the lights of gazing eyes,

The future in the shadows coming from blur to life,

Entering slowly into time, the time which hides the treasure of good laughs and sorrows reside,

We don’t know how to find, we don’t know how to bribe,

Just wait for the happy ending to find us so suffice,

The new year will arrive, the waves will break the tide,

The vows will again get better and exchange in the light of shrine,

The hope of getting stronger in the heart will again rise,

Never loose the rope of broken splices of hope,

Which leads you to the bigger and wiser end of the knot,

We find hope from the ashes and save it in twilight,

Dancing in the moonlight and spread love that all we have,

We come to see the fate from which all of it left,

We wish to get the offerings, what decisions were already made,

Happy new year and happy new life, old days will never forget.

AM

 

 

 

The unexpected journey

So here I am again after a long time, I don’t know if anyone misses me but i am a bit busy past days, there is so much to talk and so much to feel… The whole lane of memories started to rewind again. As I mentioned in my bio that I am a fond of adventure and travelling I completed my studies in different countries and now I got the chance to do my Masters (MS) in Australia, which is a very nice and pristine country and it provides a welcoming and multicultural society with a population that originates from all over the world. Australian people have a reputation for being amongst the friendliest in the world, and the cities are safe and clean with low crime rates. Australia is an increasingly popular study destination with international students from across the globe and especially Melbourne becomes the most livable city of the world.

As my days of departing is getting near sometimes I get tremble with fear but I guess it’s the passion of exploring more cultures and cope with it, to see everything new and experience a diverse lifestyle. As my luggage has been packed, I am sitting in my empty room, not as much empty the furniture is here but from my perspective my things are not in order instead it was packed and thinking about all the good memories with my parents and with everyone in the city.. It’s a little awful at first but eventually I get passed it and move on knowing that the adventure of life isn’t just finished yet but rather beginning to the new era, until the end of the days, until i travel the whole world.

So Australia here I come and Happy upcoming days to everyone 🙂

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,600 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 43 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

AM I WRONG..??

Wrong timings and wrong actions make your life hell, and how’s that, look into your lives and think of a moment you can do better from your first kiss to divorce, from your first dream to what you really become.

Is that fair..??

Is that really what you expect from yourself..??

Is it your limit..??

These are the questions world don’t understand and rather accept it they gonna blame it on you.. Wish I could make it easy but time is really slowly drifting away and till you really understood the importance of that moment your face gets above the water but your feet didn’t touch the ground and you are in the dilemma of what’s right or am I wrong..!!

We born innocent, we dream big and we are pious and clean from all sins, every one of us are beautiful so the world taught us all the tricks and manipulate us and when we made a mistake they resent us and denied of all the things we accomplished, that’s the tragedy but we fight relentlessly in our all endeavors to say what we are and what we become proudly without any consent of the world because we don’t need one to prove ourselves, we all are craving for cure from our problems.

My life always been a battlefield which made me a soldier of myself unfortunately.. If I say I don’t scared then it must be wrong. I always write some inspirational words for myself and it works like a shield between my despair and hope like:

“You can’t expect from a fish to fly and a bird to swim but they all gonna make their own way”

“We only have to be brave enough to see the destiny” etc.

I have a place where I write my inspirational thoughts when I was going through from bleak days like above as I mentioned and here’s the photo.. I hope it gives every one of you a hope in the midst of terrified problems and even then the world gives you rock-bottom then proudly say “AM I WRONG? THEN I DON’T WANT TO BE RIGHT, NOW ITS ME AGAINST THE WORLD”, Because Every finish line is the beginning of new race..!!

A Fight From Demon

That night was as cold as freeze and breeze,

I was walking and thinking how I breath,

Now its me, no wait, now inside of me,

My soul keeps asking what’s wrong with me,

where is the peace, what about my good or bad deeds,

Every time I sleep the demons follows me,

Across the universe, against the stars I see,

Where ever my dream goes they keep tracking me,

The life is hard but God promise me,

If I win this battle field I die heavenly,

Keeping me from bad things I had in me,

But the fight of God and Demon obnoxious me,

If the life we live in doesn’t bother him,

If the good and bad things doesn’t happening,

If there is no two sides of the enduring,

But my mind follow’s order from both of them,

My soul keeps asking from God and demon,

In their own fight why I drag between them,

I loose my mind, I don’t know what to do,

They keep playing on me like I am a toy to you,

Demon why would you, what’s the matter with you,

Why you keep haunting me, leave my soul alone,

I loose control, my mind is not a playground for you,

Whatever you say from now I abandon you,

I know God he is bad but it’s the fight of you two,

I can’t help it so why I am always drag in you,

and I am idiot to always blame everything to me,

So why it would be, every shadow keeps stalking me,

Something happening, something changing inside of me,

I am done, this world betrays me more than lies and greed,

Lies that you ever listen and deny to it,

But it’s the fact so you can’t even hide from it,

Now it’s time, I am not blind and deaf,

I can see the world from the dusky dales,

Sometime I had the dream about the loosing faith,

Oh darn it demon! but I keep my faith stronger everyday,

Life is a short trip do not wish to perish away,

To die hard and live forever you can’t choose today,

Life is not your wish, So wish for a laugh and make it worth,

Because you live all summer but in the end its gone and made you stay,

I am tired of acting the moment is so dark,

Hurt me if you want but lies has no story book,

and I am cooked, my mind can’t take anymore,

And gone, I am gone to far off the road,

Now I can walk through all the valley of death,

And find you and kill you even if I have to go to hell,

The animosity of evil can make my stronger faith,

But at the end the grudge can’t even bear my name,

Now God take my soul away,

I kill the devil for you which resides in me,

That’s why you keep me alive this day,

I can’t hold it against the wall of hell,

Its so much now, they came with all the force they had,

Now I am alone but I fight like a snake’s bite,

But in a minute, I no longer keep survive,

Play tragic but they would not excuse to hurt bad,

I can’t think, my brain is dead,

I keep calling you but you won’t reply me back,

Keeping me crazy from all the lies I have,

Expecting the worst but hoping for the best,

Now make my funeral, I am selling my soul to you for no payback.

AM

Dream (deep words)

When we dream the dream

When we move through stream

Like a crazy theme

And those children stage

Then we old so soon

And the time passes

But we can’t stop to dream

So where the starting lead

Till the ending gone

And we all move on

But we can’t forget to dream

Some are so lucky

Some are so unlucky

But we would do

What the world teach us

That’s the tragedy

What’s the remedy?

But we can’t be free

Our wings tide up

So we losing faith

So we turn our backs

And we loosing shades

For what we dream to be

And starts we dreaming again

And starts we live again

But won’t have that wings

To fly above the sea

And that limit comes

Won’t have that time to thrice

And then do what we do

And here is my time thus comes…

AM

The Time

We are just the crazy moment of life,

Time is divided into many many miles,

We move on with time but the memories reside,

With the moon rise, when the sun hides,

It all starts with the seed grows inside,

A new born baby comes into our life,

They fall from heaven and changes our lives,

And make the memories of our lifetimes,

Every day passes with time, they will grow on,

But we didn’t know how fast the wind blows,

Life is just a myth from dusk till dawn,

And all of a sudden in the end, it will all gone,

Everything resides in our memories for so long,

And we changes with time and new stories will bring on,

We move on with time but time didn’t same as it was,

Alas! We ignore every day but every day counts to build home,

How fast time flies, they say since we born,

It’s like we lives our life in some days unfold,

Life is just a story of many memories withhold,

But we never live in present as long as we want,

We soon become grownups and forget what we want,

And relationships become deeper and soon they will be much more,

Time has the power to unravel our every move,

And solve every problems when we will be moving on,

Time moves forward and save ourselves in past,

We wanted to go back but couldn’t pause the time,

Season changes but we remain same,

Leaves can grow back again but never be as same,

Oh dear! We can live some more days,

But in the end we have to go back from where we came,

Now what, what had to remain,

In the end we realize only the moment goes since we came,

Time passes so fast can’t even grab a shade,

And now after all pass my life, I see myself a boy again,

Sun rises, sun shines, but in the end sun hides,

And leave the sky alone in the ashes of twilight.

AM

The Impostor Syndrome

So here I am again.. I heard many stories of life, observe many people try to imitate and many to resent, but what is the outcome is trying to perfect ourselves.. many of you think my life is perfect so NO, I am a mess sometime or sometimes I am just craving for cure but its not enough.

Joy is only the part of myself, I usually emulate someone or my own imagination to disguise myself in front of others. Yes I can imitate according to others expectations in my personality to show I am happy, I am doing this for a long time so I can say I am good in this and feel secured not to express my feelings so they cannot judge me, and that’s from what I am scared off.. I think its just because I don’t want to let somebody down and many people watching my steps so it makes me nervous and introvert and sometimes I just ask myself why I was born, whats the purpose of this life he gave me, If GOD is watching me and my misery because I let many peoples down in my life which I don’t want and I am just frustrated from me in many cases so why has he been waiting for something very bad would happen or just already pull me off, this world is not for me and I literally think I should not deserve this, so why all lies wondering in my head. If the universe plan to blemish my life in the end then what good will come from this ??

I am sorry if this is not a happy post but sometimes expressing feelings is the best remedy and this situation happens in many people’s life and they try to take control by some ways/means, but the thing I don’t understand is whats the purpose of all this, Is that the universe trying to examine us, if it is so at what level, is there really any hope, don’t we really have choices or we just already lost the war..!!