So here I am again.. I heard many stories of life, observe many people try to imitate and many to resent, but what is the outcome is trying to perfect ourselves.. many of you think my life is perfect so NO, I am a mess sometime or sometimes I am just craving for cure but its not enough.
Joy is only the part of myself, I usually emulate someone or my own imagination to disguise myself in front of others. Yes I can imitate according to others expectations in my personality to show I am happy, I am doing this for a long time so I can say I am good in this and feel secured not to express my feelings so they cannot judge me, and that’s from what I am scared off.. I think its just because I don’t want to let somebody down and many people watching my steps so it makes me nervous and introvert and sometimes I just ask myself why I was born, whats the purpose of this life he gave me, If GOD is watching me and my misery because I let many peoples down in my life which I don’t want and I am just frustrated from me in many cases so why has he been waiting for something very bad would happen or just already pull me off, this world is not for me and I literally think I should not deserve this, so why all lies wondering in my head. If the universe plan to blemish my life in the end then what good will come from this ??
I am sorry if this is not a happy post but sometimes expressing feelings is the best remedy and this situation happens in many people’s life and they try to take control by some ways/means, but the thing I don’t understand is whats the purpose of all this, Is that the universe trying to examine us, if it is so at what level, is there really any hope, don’t we really have choices or we just already lost the war..!!